Don't Give Up When the Cavalry Doesn't Come
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Audio Transcript:
Whether you've read the book or watched the movie, you know the first real fight club. Well, today we're going to talk about the first rule of flourishing. But before that, gratitude to all of you, all that are following along. And, I just, if you haven't yet, please review the podcast, give as many stars. You think we deserve a comment?
So if somebody stumbles upon the podcast, they know kind of what you might appreciate about it and kind of direct them. So anyway, gratitude for those of you who have and just a request for those that haven't yet, you may be building a, an organization or a team within your, your organization or whatever it may be, and you may find people who buy into the vision of flourishing.
They love it. They love the idea. They love the fruits of flourishing that they see happening in your company or in your life. They love that stuff. And they're right there. Saddle up. They're ready to rock and you're excited and you have plans. And then all of a sudden you realize over time, oh, they can't execute or they're not executing.
So they want the benefits of flourishing, but they don't want the work that comes with it, which is again, this is the trick. Fleishman is in a destination. People see benefits think, oh, that's flourish. But well, this is the work. It's all part of it, right? And so I think for for many of us in organizations or even our own families or our communities, we get in a situation where and if those of you that remember this movie Braveheart, there's a moment where William Wallace, played by, by Mel Gibson, is in the battlefield.
And it might be the battle. Stirling I remember which battle is been a long time to watch the movie, but he's there's a whole coordinated plan with with reinforcements and all this kind of stuff and he's down in the battlefield and he's done everything they said they were going to do. They're they're about to get overrun or whatever.
And he's he's waving the banner for his reinforcements to come. And they're sitting up on the hill watching the cavalry, whatever it may be. and they're just watching him, and he's waving the banner, and they're not moving, and he's waving the banner, and he starts kind of getting frantic. And then you get Mel Gibson crazy as going on.
He's like, you can see, you can feel the treachery that's going on and and how how lost he feels and how betrayed he feels in that moment. And, and I don't know about you. I've had those moments many, many times. And what happens oftentimes is, is you were counting on somebody who bought into the vision that you're following and maybe influenced by vision.
Maybe it's just a vision for your company or or a partnership, whatever you're doing at your community. And all of a sudden, maybe they're not as treacherous as those guys in the movie and all that kind of stuff. And historically, you know, that all gets bent. But but maybe they just they just couldn't execute or they didn't. They thought they understood the mission, but they didn't.
Or something else got interesting or distracted him or all kinds, which don't always have to be this, this nefarious reasoning. It can, it can be. But either way, you're left on the battlefield. There you are. You're out there doing you're saying you're doing what you committed to do. And now the folks you were out there set to rely on, they can't deliver.
I mean, we've had that so many times in our company where we've hired folks who are here because they love what we have put together at Mountain Leverage. And it's cool. And I don't want to overdo that. I get, but it's a cool environment if you're, if you fit. and then when they get here, the work that actually goes into that, which is all part of it, that's hard for them.
And they end up, you know, letting us down, if you will, and letting themselves down in that way. And it's that's kind of a tough thing. But for you, we're talking about you for just a minute. it's difficult. And so I think the big thing I can add to that for, for you, at least from, from my perspective, is the, the most dangerous thing to do in that moment.
The most dangerous is to feel like a victim. Once you feel like a victim, you're on a battlefield and you're out there in it, and the moment your reinforcements don't show up for whatever reason, good, bad, nefarious, whatever. you it's almost automatic to feel victimized. It just is there. And that is the biggest, just killer for me.
And, I don't know, maybe you're you're different, but I can't do that. So I just implore you, in those situations where either you're you're at the at the kitchen table, have a discussion, and your spouse says, I hate everything about what do you stand for? That is a moment where you could feel like a victim for a minute.
And if you don't, you can back out a little bit and you go, wait a minute. There's all kinds of individual psychology going on. There's all kinds of relational psychology going on there. There's all kinds of realities and different things, and my own delusion and reality. So once, once you can kind of get yourself separate, if you can get into a victim man, rather you are in a hole and it's hard to get out of.
But but if you can, if you can kind of keep that separate and just, you know, take that breath, do your thing. Whatever helps you keep from being a victim, that is then something you can put in perspective. I think another thing to have to fight against both of these things necessarily, is, is you you kind of have to build your own, support.
You have to build your tribe, as they say. And sometimes that that whole phrase like fight your tribe, that it feels. But it's it's legit, right? To be the science behind it. There's history behind it. We find our communities and that that matters to us. So, I look at our, at our company 20 years, 20 years building my tribe, if you will.
And, and, you know, it's not been single handedly, of course. And the more you find folks, I guess that that do buy into division and what you're trying to accomplish and are willing to put in the work. And that ebbs and flows. Nobody's perfect all the time. It's not we're asking for, but but the more strength you have.
So when you do have those moments, you do have other reinforcements. You got archers over here and you got lancers. You got okay, you got folks on the battlefield. They can come and help you in those moments when up the cavalry didn't come right. And so I again, I think that's that's in business. That's certainly, you know, in your family, the more you're, you're, you know, having folks around you understand what you're doing that they can buy in, whether it's kids or, or even extended family, whatever it is, you just you feel better about that.
You'll feel better in those moments because moments will come inevitably. And maybe it's less around family. Maybe it's more around business and and even community for that matter. I think, you know, there is a bit of an upward cycle that happens when when these things are aligned and you begin to build your tribe, people are buying in and they find the joy, maybe in the work.
That's also part of it. that's that's just a cool moment. And it's really supportive over time. I would add another piece to this that I kind of it kind of connects back to what we're talking earlier. When you have folks in your organization who who say they believe in this, they they're they're into your mission and your vision of what the company is going to be or the organization within a company or whatever team you've got going on, or even your family for that matter.
You want to evaluate those contributions and just make sure your expectations aren't misaligned so you can't fire your kids and those good things, right? I mean, you can fire your spouse, I guess, if you want, but then that stuff gets messy and costly and all that kind of stuff. But in an organization, you can do those things. But still, either way, you want to evaluate, and a lot of times it's okay, but it's your expectations might be misaligned.
And and for me that's often the case. So I try to realign my expectations and often times it now now we're back. We're back in it. Okay I now see how far they can go, what they can do. And and I'm not as sideways in it. So if that makes sense I don't know. So I think I just wanted to kind of go through this.
You could tell I'm struggling with this episode because it is a difficult subject to talk about. But I think it I think it exemplifies a situation we are all going to be in at some point and probably many, many points along the way of your journey where folks just aren't going to dig it all right, and you want them to, or they want to be involved and they want the fruits of what they see as the outcomes, but they're not able to toe the line.
They're not able to row the boat. Whatever analogy you want to use and I think we got to face it. So I'm talking about it. It's something I don't have a full answer to. But you know, it's funny, one of the nursery rhymes or I guess, a fable or a story we used to read the kids, when they were wee little was the little red hen right side.
If you remember the little red hen, the hen finds this grain of wheat and asks, hey, you know, can you guys help me plant it? And I think it's like a maybe a dog and a cat and maybe a pig or. I don't think it's a horse. It's the one I like. And they're like, not I, not I, not I.
And you go around all the time. It's like, oh well, can I, can, can you help me? water. It's not, I know. No, I can help me harvested or whatever. Can you help me? I'll bake it. Can you help me do all those things? Not I, not I don't I and then at the end, when the bread is getting baked and the smells wafting out of the window and out into the farm, and then all of a sudden everybody's like, hey, I want some of this.
And at that point, you know, the hens like, I did it all by myself. I eat it all by myself. you we always talked about the ending a bit with, with our kids in terms of what? You know, what what does that really mean? I mean, I'm not advocating for not letting folks share in the fruits of your flourish.
In fact, if you've listened to this podcast for very long, you know, I'm absolutely advocating for that way. Many people that will share in your flourishing, that won't have direct, you know, contribution to it. And that's okay. I'm okay with that. So but but I guess the, the nature and the reason why I share the story is the nature of that is there are many people who just won't want to be a part of the the work that goes in, and ultimately that's the way the world works.
And that's okay. I think the expectations for the little red hen, or you or me, is we need to understand that, and it's going to happen. And I don't know, I don't know if it's okay or not. It's okay with me. It just it's part of life. But we also want to make sure we're not expecting them. If I'm expecting somebody to bake it or pull it out of the oven or whatever, they don't, it gets burnt.
Then then then things get sideways. So for me, I don't really care at the end who all eats of it? That's great. Let's eat and enjoy Mary and all that stuff. But but it's the process through that. And that's really the true flourishing, right? The outcomes are just their outcomes from that. and if you want to share those great.
And you want to be part of it, great. But I just want to I need to know, I need to know, and then I need to put myself in the right mind. If you're not a contributor. So, man, I don't know if this makes sense to you. I hope it's helpful. I know again, this has been a difficult, discussion for me because it is it is a it's a personal thing.
And I've dealt with that a lot in life. And just I think we all have and we're getting, we're cutting the quick, we're getting stuff that's real and not so easily, sorted. But I do think, you know, when we look at this, if by building your tribe, by managing your expectations, avoiding victimhood. Oh, my gosh, that's so killer.
I think I think you can I think you can kind of get through this and you'll see it's almost like The Matrix. How many movie references can make it one podcast, but it's almost like The Matrix when when neo finally sees the World and Code, it's almost like that, and it unlocks a whole different game. And so now you can play the Irishman game and not the game of scarcity, which is often played in the world.
You aren't playing the game of victimhood where I can have mine, because if I don't, I lose and it becomes a just comes a different game. And it's the game I've enjoyed playing more. And a I'm not saying I don't sometimes fall in the other game and I, I'm, I'm struggling and I'm bitter and I'm frustrated and all these things, it happens to all of us.
But the more I can play the game behind the game, the more I'm flourishing. So anyway, hey, I hope this is valuable to you. If you have anyone in your life that you see that is contributing, and is a part of of baking the bread for the little red hen, I'd love for you to share this with them, if it's helpful to them.
Whatever. And, and if you know anybody who might benefit from from our podcast, what we're doing, and I'd love to hear from you if you have questions. You know, our Q&A episodes are had been pretty popular. And so if you got questions, send them to us at, flourishing Red Dot, flourishing at random Incom. And we'll be happy to to grab those.
Maybe you'll hear it on a future episode. So, at this point, I hope this helpful to you. my my suffering hopefully is not in vain, but trying to convey these things and, if, if you like it again, review us, let us know how it goes. And if you have any ideas for future podcasts, I'd love to hear that too.
So wherever you may be in this world, whether you're baking bread or you're building a company or raising a family or trying to help a community, whatever it may be, I hope it is that you are flourishing.
Alex Reneman is the founder of Mountain Leverage and Unleash Tygart and host of Flourishing w/ Alex Reneman. For 20+ years he has worked as CEO of Mountain Leverage, honing the concept of flourishing and experimenting with it in the business. In July of 2024, he decided to begin to share this idea with others, which led to his podcast, social content, and the plans for other initiatives in the future.
