When Have I felt Lost?
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Audio Transcript:
Have you ever been asked a question that kind of stops you in your tracks? And you think, how am I going to answer this? And not like a math question of how hard is this or or whatever, you know, so the bullet you shoot a bullet on a speeding train, whatever. You know, not that more like a soul type question.
well, I'm going to answer one of those today that, has been collected over the last several episodes. Asher's has been collecting the questions that have come in, and I'm going to address some of those today. I can't get to them all, but, yeah, we'll have a Q and A have a sit here this morning. So, before I get into that, though, I do want to ask, if you have and if you find value in this, I would love for you to to drop a review in whatever podcasting app you're listening to or whatever.
And we I hear this on podcasts all the time. You hear it. I don't typically ask for that a bunch, but, you know, knowing if this is valuable to you, you know, rate it, that'd be cool. You know, give us whatever stars you think is is, is deserved in terms of what we're putting together here. you know, if you want to share your thoughts about a particular episode, however, I just really appreciate it.
So. All right, let's get into the Q&A. And again, I'm not going to get to all of them. And I haven't, you know, so just in all entities city here it is on a Friday morning, I'm looking over these questions and I'm going to just hit them as they come. So you're going to get the authentic answers. So maybe next Friday I'm an answer differently.
you know we'll we'll see. But let's see for first up, do you think your imposter syndrome ever completely goes away or is it just something you learn to manage? Oh, this is a great question. Okay, so this is about Frank. So if you've been following along, you know that I have an imposter syndrome that I have named Frank.
And I have, actually leveraged him many times to be better. But it doesn't mean that it's always positive, but it kind of grinds me it sometimes and all that. So we've talked about that. But this question in particular is, you know, does it really ever go away? And I don't know, I gotta tell you, from my experience, it does not it does not.
Maybe yours does. I hope I maybe first well, I don't know I again I see mine is as an asset. So I want Frank to be here. So I've embraced him in that way. But I'm telling you, even when I'm not actively thinking about him and thinking about what's there, it will. He talks and creeps up. So I got to think that's kind of innate, but maybe, I don't know, your psychology.
Maybe it's different. And we all have voices in our heads. And I'm not trying to, you know, discount, true mental challenges and health and stuff, but, I doubt it does. I doubt ever goes away. But I guess, again, my point, I didn't. I'm not trying to make it go away. I've embraced it. I've found him. I've found him to be an asset for me.
And I know I begin to sound a little loopy as I talk about that, but having that additional me, but the critical me that I can, I guess if I try to fight it and I try to push him away, I wonder if I don't if I don't like, ignore something that's a part of me. Because remember, I think the reality is sometimes Frank is right and I need to hear him and I need to take that advice and work on it.
I just can't let it crush me. So anyway, I I've not seen him go away, but I've also not embraced. But I tried to kick him away early. I think a lot of us do because we don't want that. Like, you know, it's going to be all positive self-talk. We've got to get in affirmations and trust me, I absolutely 100% proponent behind the stories you tell yourself matter.
And so those narratives in our heads are important. And I guess that for me, that's why instead of recognizing it as just a no as me or as some, you know, voice from the inner depths, I just put a name on it and it's it's my ride along. He's he's my ride or die guy. He's going to be there.
He's going to antagonize me at times and and whatever. But it's a value to me. So I haven't seen go away. If you have, I'd be interested if anybody's been able to make it go completely away and they like that life better, I'd be interested to hear about it. All right. next question. along the same line still on him, you guys, this is an interesting topic that that brings a lot of interest.
if someone is listening right now who feels they aren't good enough for the role they're in, what's the first thing you tell them to do? with the first thing. So, first of all, I, I, I always struggled giving advice. I'm not. I don't know your situation. but I can tell you, in my experience with people that I've worked with who, who are, who are concerned about whether they're doing well or not.
And there's different groups of people, here, sometimes it's the people who, who are doing fantastic. They're killing it. They're absolute winners. Yet they don't think they're doing well. Some people are killing it. They know they're killing it, and they want you. They want to act like they don't think they're doing well. So they can hear you tell them they're doing well.
You know, it. Just this fact, this part of it. but other people are not killing it and they don't know. And they think they're they know they're not killing it. And, they want to hear from you that they're doing well and they're not going to like for you to hear them. You know, they don't like what you hear.
You might say you're not doing well. And here's what you could here's what I, you know, could could help you do better. And then there's a lot of folks that aren't doing well and don't don't believe it. They think they're doing awesome. And that is what it is. So this camp I guess could be several different of those groups.
And and I think I'll address the, the folks who are doing, I'll just all of you, if you hear that voice and you're thinking you're not doing well, probably should listen to it first and say, am I not? And, like, objectively figured out. So what's the first thing to do? Well feedback. Feedback feedback. And we we just talked about in the last couple episodes.
It's awesome to get feedback. Now you got to get feedback from the right people and all that. So there's certainly some self-assessment. You don't go wild and half cocked because, you know, just ask people generally, hey, give me some feedback. You may not get something constructive. And so from my experience, I want to think about, well, what do I think I'm failing?
What do I where do I think I'm falling short? Or whatever it is? And then I'll shape some questions or some outreach to folks. I want feedback. You don't have to be a form like we did or anything super, formal or anything. It could just be a question, but I'll have a couple questions and so I'll make sure I can get to the quick on, what what's the thing I think I'm failing at, is staff the dangling prepositions, my language arts teachers of all my life.
But anyway, the things I've where I think I'm failing, I can ask that that person specifically like about it. Maybe it's a skill or it's a, a technique or or work ethic or whatever, whatever you think it is. Then I would also add some general stuff because what they, what they might be able to supply you with is general things that may find a fundamental, foundational things.
It might help you be better. I think about advice that I've gotten through the years when I thought I needed, you know, needed advice about, you know, well, like, how about how many of us want to work around the margins of our health, right? We want to focus on this latest new vitamin or whatever else. And the advice you might get back is, you know, you could ask, hey, is my vitamin regimen okay?
And like that? Yeah. I don't know what training regimen, but you're staying up late playing video games or watching movies or whatever else, or hanging out or going about whatever it is, and then you're getting up early and trying to go to work. You're not getting enough sleep and you're not eating well and all that basic, fundamental thing.
So I guess, yeah, you might not be performing well, and you might think it's something that you should ask about it, but you also ask that that general piece under there. So again, I hate to give advice because I don't know your situation. but I, I wouldn't just ignore it. I wouldn't just ignore it. It's there for a reason.
And if you find consistently that you think you're not doing well and the feedback around you is consistently, you're doing awesome. I still wouldn't lose that edge. I still wouldn't lose that edge. But I think it's okay to go ahead and and, maybe let yourself off the hook a little bit and maybe not let it haunt you, you know?
So I guess I guess that's, that's what I'd say. Now, if you're not asking if you've never question, am I awesome or not, or not doing well today, you might be in that last group. So you may just want to check in and, get some feedback somewhere to make sure you are killing it if you care.
And if you listen to this podcast, you care, right? Or you wouldn't probably listen to it. Okay, here is the question that I really on the surface, I can answer this. I could answer this easily and it would be no big deal. But, we're trying not to be on the surface, right? Trying to be authentic and genuine, and that's, that's uncomfortable.
And I don't dig it. And, you know, I get frank in the back of my mind. I say, who cares? Nobody wants to hear your stories. But here we go. you seem to have a strong sense of purpose, but have you ever hit a moment where you felt completely lost? And how did you work through that? So there's not just one moment?
I feel lost. Lost does, And that's that's part of, you know, the more you're lost, the more you learn to kind of self orient and get direction. And so that's and rely on those around you and the signs and all the kinds of things. So we that's a whole podcast if we want. But I felt lost many times.
But I remember the time that came to me that thought I didn't I was like, okay, that but what else could I talk about? And it just kept feeling inauthentic to not share this one. So here we go. The time I felt the most loss may be an in in business. Let's just talk about that. boy, you know, just like four more things with my mind of life and as a father or a husband or whatever.
But let's talk about a business moment. We were, or what year it was. It's been a while. We were, we were struggling. The economy was struggling. Our market was struggling. We had just been served several, curveballs, if you will, or storms or whatever. Whatever challenges, adversity, whatever you want to use. It was it was bad.
It was a it was a confluence of outside and inside events, you know, things maybe I'd made some strategic decisions that weren't right. We over invested, we underdelivered all the things right. And it was one of those moments where we'd already been through a couple of those and I was tired. I was, I was, I was kind of toast, to be honest.
I still love the people I've worked with, but I was like, this is my the experiment that we're trying to run, that is mountain leverage is a failure. It's failed the spirit. You can't do this. You got to do it like everybody else told me to do it. You've got to do it in the way that all the businesses run.
You got to not care about your employees. You got to just grind it in. You got to do all the formal things. You can't be real. You can't be a full human in the midst of your work and all the things. Right? So I'm all up there. You've heard me talk about it in the podcast. If you haven't, you'll hear more in the future.
But, I just thought, this is over. I just I just failed here, and we were we we had no, no money to pay payroll. This things that was a smaller company at the time, but we just host and I was I had resigned myself to say, this is over. It's time to probably just shut the doors and close up shop and everything else.
And this, this is a testament to the people you surround yourself with. So I'm super transparent in on this, but also in our business so people know what's going on. And there was no hiding it, but they didn't know where I arrived. And I remember grabbing everybody together. and we're remote calls, so remote company. So this was a call.
We got together on a conference call, and, I don't even think it was a video call. Honestly, maybe in video call, but either way, we got everybody together and just kind of laid out there. So here we are. I guess it's, it's here's what here's where we are. And I think they probably all knew. I mean, if you asked them now, they probably knew I was I was done, I was, I was toast.
But something in them and not just like a slow clap builds, it wasn't like that kind of thing in a movie. Something in it was in each of them. I mean, maybe all of them. I was zoom, but they all kind of rally down, rally together. And it was there was like a decision like, how do we do?
We continue to work without pay. Do we continue to do well without a guarantee? It's not like we had some big contractors ready to just pay a delayed payment. We didn't have the pipeline, we didn't have the revenue. We didn't have. There was we didn't even have a necessarily a plan because it was all this new stuff just hit.
We we we burned up our cash. It was it was one of those moments. And there was no there was no sugar daddy for this hillbilly that was going to fund us through. And so but but they all they had, they had this hope and this agency that we would figure this out together and we would push through.
And I gotta tell you, that was a moment that I just was blown away. and I, they, they drug me. They, they, they tied me to the boat, not the whole kind of way. I mean, I guess I should say that. But they carried me through, I don't know, was it, was it days, was it weeks, was it months?
They carried me and buoyed me and, and I finally got my stuff together and, and really kind of, got back on my feet and said, okay, let's do this. They led me, they pulled me through this, and then they said, okay, now lead us. And, I can tell you that was an experience, and I, I, you know, when I look at this and say, have I been completely lost?
I was super lost. And as a leader, that's a hard moment because you are the one that's supposed to lead. You're the one who supposed to know, you're supposed to have the ideas. You're supposed to have the the vision and the way for how to get this, how to get out of this. And I don't have any of that, and nor did I have the energy or the heart to even keep pushing.
And every story you read about, you know, a leader coming through a business challenge where they're almost always written, as you know, and I was stood up through. Yeah, I mean, I've done that at times for sure, but this is not a proud moment for me. I was I am rhythm is never quit. I mean, we we don't give up.
and I was ready I was ready to give up. But they weren't ready to give up on me. And, that was big. So. So, you know, that's that's the question I didn't really want to answer in a podcast. but here we are. We're we're doing it. So how did I work through it? Well, those were those moments where sometimes you can't work through it.
Sometimes you have to around the people you surround yourself with, which is why it's so important to surround yourself with people who get you. People who who align with your vision, who align with with what you want to do. For me, if I was around people who were just there for a paycheck and just there for and, you know, I know it's popular today to say don't do anything for the company because they won't do anything for you.
I get all that and find, you know, repost it and like it and okay, let's all hate on the company. I get it. But when you when you build a company of people who are with the company, there has to be a construct, an organization to bring us together and help us do that, you know? So that's just that's the construct we're working in.
When you gather a group of people around you that are like minded, that have that vision and have the, the, the heart and and the willingness, the agency and the hope to pull all this together when when you have that moment where you're completely lost, the point of being lost is you. You don't know what to do. And for me, that's what that's how I pull through it.
And I can show you lots of stories where I felt completely lost. And I'm like, oh, I mean, I'm not lost. And I double down whatever else I've done that. Yeah, so I can we got those stories as well. But this is the one that I wouldn't I, this was like the one I couldn't get around when I saw the question and yes, don't ask questions like this.
makes, it makes it hard to be genuine because if I don't, don't share it. But here we are. So I've shared it. It is what it is. It doesn't make me magic. It makes those around me magic. And I'm. And I love it. Yeah, I'm sure I bring my own magic to the table, too. But this was a moment where I was out of magic.
Man. Whatever movie you want to watch, the one was empty. The the spell didn't work. Whatever. Right. And they did. And I will never forget that. Never forget that. So when there is a challenge today, all these years later, when there is a challenge today that that moment doesn't leave me, that stays pretty close. And I draw on that often.
And I also I remember that moment. And it also has helped me, to really try to manage and lead in a way where we don't get into a moment like that again, because I had I had some blood on my hands there. You know, that was probably I mean, how could you as a, as a company, everybody says, oh, well, I blame the economy, I blame it.
Yeah. Okay. Those are things that there's always something happened. There's always another storm to come rock your boat. But as the ship captain, did you turn the boat in the right way? Did you stay out of the water? Did you see the storm coming? There's so many things and that's. That's my role in the company. So how could you not have blood on your hands there?
And so. So it's really helped me be more sensitive to that. And I've. I've, not lost it. I don't dwell on it, but I've not lost it. And who knows, there might be another moment like that. God forbid there might be another one. More like that. Come in in the future. We've had lots of challenges. We've never been down to that, that moment again.
But, again, it's important to surround yourself with people that, that get you, that are that are part of what you're trying to do. So anyway, didn't know we get there. Here we are. I hope that what I do here is value to you. Yeah, I get I get feedback from from folks, and I really appreciate it.
I think it is, my, my, my buddy Frank back there in my head tells me that. How can it be valuable? Why are you up here blabbering? But I hear from you that it is. And so not. I'm not pandering. Don't. It's fine. I'm just saying. So. We'll continue. So? So we'll continue this. And so with that, I would just ask you, I know I asked earlier to review the podcast start, however you think it should be started.
make a comment if you want. But I'm also going to ask, you know, right now, really deliberately, if you're getting any value out of this thing, share it. Please share with just one person. I mean, you know, we'll put it on your feed. That's that's cool too. I mean, some of you people are rockstars in your space and all that, and so I'm sure that'll go great.
but just to share it with people that, that you think might benefit from this and, I'd, I'd appreciate it. So anyway, if you got questions, you know, again, you want to cumulate these questions and put them together. you know what? We'll do another Q&A episode in the future as well. But you can send, a note to flourish@redmond.com that's flourish at r e n e man.com.
And I'll answer as many as I can on a upcoming Q&A show. So anyway, thank you all. Thanks for following me on this journey. Hopefully it didn't get too touchy feely and sappy and all that, but hey man, that's all. It's all part of the tapestry. This that is me in that regard. So. All right, hey, I don't know what you're doing this Friday or whatever day it is, but I hope wherever you are and whatever you're doing, you are flourishing.
Alex Reneman is the founder of Mountain Leverage and Unleash Tygart and host of Flourishing w/ Alex Reneman. For 20+ years he has worked as CEO of Mountain Leverage, honing the concept of flourishing and experimenting with it in the business. In July of 2024, he decided to begin to share this idea with others, which led to his podcast, social content, and the plans for other initiatives in the future.
